Ryans Social Order

they say as soon you have to cut down on your drinking, you have a drinking problem.

 

taking five days off from new york. see you tomorrow michigan.

a poem about being alone (it’s not really a poem but i wanted to call it that)

Having just moved to New York, I have realized my first major issue with this city. It is absolutely impossible to be alone.  Like, it doesn’t matter what time you decide to exit your apartment, because no matter what time it is and where you are, you are sure to see someone else wandering the street.  Some people may not find this to be a problem, but for yours truly, it’s a big fucking problem.  I enjoy my alone time.  I relish in being by myself.  I love nothing more than just being able to go outside, walk down the street and not see a single soul (homeless crack heads don’t count fyi).

I mean, I lived in Los Angeles for two years and I was always able to squeeze in a little “me time.”  But like, everyone in LA is so consumed with their own lives that even if you did see someone walking down the street, the chances of them actually taking the time to take their head out of their ass to notice you is slim to none.  Do I miss LA? Not at all.  I think I’m just starting to lose my mind from not getting enough quality time with the person I love the most, me.

Now, you’re probably sitting at your computer and reading this and thinking, “Ryan, just go home and enjoy a little solitary confinement in your apartment.”  Well, that’s not even possible because New York is fucking expensive so the only possible for me to move here was to get some roommates.  Now, I love my roommates and all, but like, how am I supposed to jam out to the latest Jill Scott album (which is called The Light Of The Sun and it is incredible) with two people around who want to talk about all of their problems?  I mean we’ve all got problems.  How do I deal with my problems? I fucking get up, go into my room and have some alone time.  Sometimes I wanna be like, “you’re great, but like I need to focus on me. No really, it’s not you, it’s for sure me.”

I guess the moral of this story is that I have loved every minute of living in New York but like, ugh, can’t I just be alone?

still not over it.